Getting your Ex Back

To get your ex back suggests that losing someone that you care about can be a traumatic experience and can have a permanent effect on you.  For those who are on the receiving side – meaning they are the one being told that it is over – it is often natural for them to want to rekindle the relationship.

When relationships end it is normally an indication that something was either lacking in the relationship.  It may be that one or both partners began to take it for granted and stop trying to keep it fresh and full of surprises.

In order for you to get your ex back it is normally a requirement that he/she hear from you that you understand their position regarding what was negative and that you are willing to change it.  Before you embark on a win-back adventure you should be honest with yourself about both your willingness and ability to make the necessary changes required.

If you feel that the changes are probably a good thing – at least in the eyes of your ex – and you are willing to make the changes, then proceed with the get-back process.

You should start the process to get your ex back by contacting them in an innocent and non-threatening way. The first contact should be free on any serious or heavy drama or arguments.  It is natural for any unvented feelings to come out or be repeated but they should be kept to a minimum.

Next, ask for an opportunity to meet for coffee or lunch at a former haunt of yours – with the excuse of just seeing how they are doing. The real purpose of the first meeting is simply to have a pleasant first get together.  It should set the stage for another meeting.

It is a good idea to share an experience that the two of you previously enjoyed or perhaps a theater or restaurant.  During that first meeting try warmly to reflect on what was good about the times that the two of you spent together rather than rehashing why you split. Be honest and tell them that you value the good times that you shared and leave it at that for now.  Do not attempt a makeup during that first visit as this process will take time to complete.  First things first, and the first priority is getting permission to proceed to the next step. Slowly begin to build up contact and thus rapport with them.

Women should avoid becoming overly emotional and repeating their pet peeves with their ex, as this will only serve to further scare your partner away.

Men should make an effort to listen to and genuinely respect the feelings and emotions of their female counterparts. They should also acknowledge the truth or validity of her pet peeves. This will prove to you ex that you will be able to fulfill all of her emotional requirements.

Share with your ex the changes that you are making if indeed you are.  Your ex will appreciate any efforts you have made to change these factors even if they don’t mention it.

After the first meeting ask yourself if you truly want to rekindle the relationship and what your chances of a Get Back Ex success.  It Yes/Good to Great then proceed – slowly and carefully.  Most people, however, have greater chances of success if they seek professional help.